God Has Foresnaken Me

1.5M ratings
277k ratings

See, that’s what the app is perfect for.

Sounds perfect Wahhhh, I don’t wanna
honeylemony
priceforrottenjudgement

Ppl dont seem to realise that "only perceivably queer people should have access to queer spaces and support" and "nobody is obligated to out themselves to you and nobody needs to provide proof of their sexuality/identity" CANNOT coexist.

People are very quick to say "nobody should ever be forced out of the closet, there is no one way to be queer" but then throw a fit when someone who isnt visibly gay plays a gay character or when someone who isnt officially out acts in a ~queer way~.

romantorchdick

Also, sometimes the person you think is the poster child for cisheterosexuality is in fact incredibly queer because that's the way they feel happiest presenting. And sometimes the person you're dead certain is queer is cishet and just really cool about it. And you will never be able to tell the difference on sight and that is a good thing.

phantomrose96
suncrat

You know Miles “Who’s Morales” Morales, Gwen “Gwanda” Stacy and Pavitr “This is your daughter, I do not know her” Prabhakar are all absolutely horrible liars, but Hobie? Hobie is the extremely rare Spiderperson who can actually lie perfectly, and he can, will, and certainly does use that to his advantage.

mindofmurdock

"the average spiderperson can lie" factoid is actually a statistical error. the average spiderperson cannot lie. spiders horb, who lives in a sewer and lies over 10,000 times a day, is an outlier and should not have been counted

3hobbitsinatrenchcoat
christs-cock

my friend asked me to pretend to be her boyfriend because her parents are homophobic af but they ended up hating me so much that they were glad when she said she was gay task failed successfully

christs-cock

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okay so

  • be a goth. conservative christian parents don't approve of goth men. show up to their house wearing all kinds of satanic symbols if you can
  • know more about religion than the parents. they'll try to introduce you to christianity because you don't exactly look like a christian but your dad's an ex priest and has a phd in theology so *cracks knuckles* you'll correct them on every little mistake they make
  • call your fake girlfriend every annoying petname under the sun. i'm talking about babu, shmoopie, snuffleupagus. when you run out of annoying english terms of endearment call her shit like "my liver" or "my little cabbage" (actual greek terms of endearments but the parents won't know this they'll just think you're annoying :3)
  • to continue this, talk to your fake girlfriend in the most high pitched annoying voice possible but talk in your regular voice to everyone else
  • stare at her older brother's ass for just a little too long
  • have an annoying laugh. think of sybil fawlty but a stereotypical villain playing a church organ in his castle
  • let them quote bible verses to you. then ask "so when were those two destroyed for sodomy?". it's very funny to do this when judas kisses jesus, and it's even funnier when you've just corrected them over a minor mistake in church history
  • ask WHY abraham was begging for sodom. it doesn't make sense to you why a good christian man would go and beg for tha-
  • be over possessive of your fake gf (dont really do this, it's just an act)
  • go and fuck her brother in an alleyway. the parents won't know about this so it's an optional step
  • use words no one knows the meaning of. do this without realising because you always talk like that
  • just be yourself! that's enough on its own to make them despise you tbh
christs-cock

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yes

christs-cock

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i kissed him on the lips infront of his parents and claimed it was the usual greek greeting between men is that enough for you

captain--steve--rogers

Are you…. Are you secretly dating her brother OP?

christs-cock

yes

tastyfren

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I wonder why

flightyquinn

Show up again to admit to dating the brother, but dress like a typical suburbanite and act like you've never met the parents before. Absolute power move.

christs-cock

asdgfgsjfh im totally doing this